A woman in her early 40s recently reached out to Suze Orman‘s “Women & Money” podcast with a problem many can relate to: she landed a new job with her dream salary, but now she misses her old job — and the life she left behind.
The listener had been at her previous job for nearly 18 years and was happy, but admitted she felt “stagnant” and underpaid, even after asking for raises over the course of a decade. So when a new opportunity opened closer to home, she went for it — and got a higher salary than she asked for.
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But as the excitement wore off, she began to feel a deep sense of loss. Though she felt financially validated, she missed her coworkers, her routine, and the comfort of a familiar environment.
Orman began by reassuring the listener that she’s far from the only person facing this type of emotional crossroads.
“You are not alone,” Orman wrote in her email response. “So many women in their 40s find themselves at this exact crossroad — torn between the comfort of where they were and the unknown of where they are now.”
Orman praised the woman for advocating for herself and emphasized that getting the salary she deserved was a “victory,” even if it doesn’t yet feel like one. More importantly, she framed the listener’s current struggle not as a mistake, but as part of the growth process.
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One of the most striking parts of Orman’s advice was the distinction she drew between grief and regret.
“That ache you’re feeling, it’s not necessarily a sign that you made a mistake,” Orman explained. “It might just be grief.”
According to Orman, the listener is mourning what she left behind — not just the job, but the relationships, routines, and identity tied to it. That, she said, is natural.
“You can miss something and still know that leaving it was the right decision,” she added.
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To move forward, Orman laid out a practical three-step path:
