For 20 years, one Redditor dedicated themselves to a frugal lifestyle, prioritizing financial security over luxury. Now, at 51 and facing a cancer diagnosis, they wonder: Was it all worth it?
A Lifetime of Sacrifices
In a now-viral post on the r/Frugal subreddit, user Bib_fortune shared their dilemma. Thanks to decades of careful budgeting, they own their home outright and have solid savings and investments. But their frugality came at a cost: driving old, unreliable cars and skipping out on the finer things in life. Meanwhile, their sister—who struggles with money—has always enjoyed new cars, expensive clothes, and a seemingly lavish lifestyle.
“I always thought my life choices were the right ones, thinking of the future… until I was diagnosed with cancer four months ago,” they wrote.
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Now, with an uncertain prognosis, they’re questioning whether their sacrifices were worth it. “If I die in three years, my sister will be rewarded with my estate (don’t get me wrong, I love my sister, but [it] is not my life goal to support her lifestyle).”
Should They Finally Indulge?
One thing on their mind is buying a brand-new car—something they’ve never done. But they worry that splurging now might be for the wrong reasons. “I am considering buying a brand-new car… but at the same time, I think I would be doing it for the wrong reasons.”
Redditors quickly chimed in with advice, and the overwhelming consensus was that this was exactly what they’d been saving for.
“Frugality has its rewards. One is deciding when and how to spend it,” one user responded. “Your cancer may not take you that fast, but you have time to enjoy yourself. Go for it.”
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Another echoed that sentiment, emphasizing that the key to frugality isn’t just saving but also knowing when to enjoy what you’ve saved. “I think this is [what] people miss about being frugal. I just spent ~$1000 in Key West for my 40th. I regret nothing. Had I spent $1000 at a casino? I would have regretted it.”
Many urged the OP to take a balanced approach. “I don’t think you have to overhaul your entire life. Just get the things you like, e.g., a nice car, a trip somewhere, and some nice clothes, etc.”
What’s Money For?
This post sparked a larger discussion about the purpose of money. Many Redditors shared their own experiences of learning to balance financial responsibility with enjoying life.
One user reflected on how frugality allowed them to live stress-free: “So many people with luxury things live ‘paycheck to paycheck’ and have panic attacks in their BMW while wearing that expensive watch. Peace and safety are priceless and you now have the luxury to do anything you want within reason.”
Another pointed out the importance of intentional spending: “I do and have a lot of things that die-hard frugal people would never consider frugal, but it’s really about being intentional with my money.”
Some encouraged the OP to shift focus from material goods to meaningful experiences. “Where is one place that you have always wanted to go? Or something that you always wanted to do? Instead of a car, how about an experience?”
Others reminded them that life is unpredictable. “Nothing is promised to us … and how to balance saving for the future and spending for now is something we just have to make our best guess at.”
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What’s Next?
While many agreed that the OP deserved to enjoy the fruits of their labor, they also emphasized responsible enjoyment. “Maybe instead of a new car, finance one 2-3 years old with lower mileage,” one suggested.
Another recommended focusing on comfort, especially during treatment. “Spend your money as you see fit. Enjoy a new car. Focus on making yourself comfortable for your journey ahead.”
The Redditor clarified that they don’t have a terminal diagnosis—yet. “I have been through surgery and chemo, but the odds of recurrence are high…”
With that in mind, users suggested they reassess their will to ensure their money goes where they want it to. If she doesn’t want her sister to inherit everything, she can donate to charity or set up a scholarship.
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